Men (and women) in this age of social media are awash in a sea of sexual imagery.  Yet there is nothing new under the sun.  Sin has always been “lurking at the door” (Genesis 4:7), desiring to control and destroy lives.  In Genesis 4, God warns Cain that he must master sin.  So must we.

If you are struggling with masturbation, you are not alone.  This vice is “every man’s (and every woman’s) spiritual battle,” and can only be truly mastered through the Gospel.

The Lies You’ve Been Told

Our secular culture will tell you that sexual self-pleasure is okay and even necessary.  They believe it is a biological function like eating.  The pressure builds up, and you must release it, you are told.  You’re also told that masturbation is okay if pornography is not involved.

Both are lies rooted in falsehood. 

First, self-pleasure is not a biological function like eating.  If in captivity you were told that if you ate food you would be killed by your captors, you would still try to sneak food.  The same cannot be true for masturbation.  You would not risk your life for it.  In other words, there is a difference between self-preservation (consuming food to stay alive) and self-gratification.

Second, Scripture confirms that God gave us sex for the benefit and pleasure of others – not ourselves.  Sex always has both a person and a purpose in mind.  If the person is not your spouse (1 Corinthians 7:3), you commit adultery in your heart (Matthew 5:27-28) and act according to your flesh (Romans 8:12-13). This is why your conscience weighs so heavily on you as a believer when you masturbate.  Deep inside, the Holy Spirit is helping you in your weakness (Romans 8:18-26) to help you understand your created purpose…not self-pleasure, but pleasing God, worshipping God, and service to others.  

The Root Issue:  The Heart

Randy Alcorn wrote, “When we turn to masturbation, we are medicating a pain—maybe loneliness, discouragement, rejection, or fear. There is something deeper than just the obvious desire. We need to address the root issue, to ask God to meet the needs that make us vulnerable to the temptation.”  The root issue is your heart.  Your heart is (literally) set on your flesh.  When you set your heart and mind on your flesh, death is the result (Romans 8:6-8).  This is a scary thing, yet you sense this death every time you do it.  If you keep doing it, your conscience becomes seared and the feeling of death deepens.  It is gradually killing your God-given manhood, your God-given womanhood.

The Solution:  The Spirit and the Gospel

Romans 8:1-11 must be read now – slowly.  Please take a moment and do so.

As a believer, you are in Christ Jesus (verse 1).  You have a history of self-pleasure, but God sees you through the precious blood of Jesus.   You do not need to live in guilt and condemnation.  The law of sin and death has been fulfilled for you through Christ (verses 3-4).  Choose today to set your mind on the things of the Spirit, knowing that if you set your mind on your flesh, you are choosing death, and you will not be able to please God and fulfill the very purposes for which He created you (Isaiah 43:7, 2 Corinthians 5:9).

As a believer, you are “in the Spirit.”  This IS your actual reality as a Christian (verse 9).  It is time to own this reality.  Confess your sin (1 John 1:9).  Pray.  Pray that the Holy Spirit will help you hate what God hates, and love what God loves.

Hating What God Hates

The great 1600’s theologian, preacher, and author Thomas Brooks said that to hate sin is not merely to refrain from it; to hate sin is not merely to confess it; to hate sin is not merely to be afraid to sin; to hate sin is not merely to mourn because of the dreadful effects and fruits that sin may produce (hell itself). We must hate sin as much as we hate hell itself.  Augustine said that the man who hates sin as much as he hates hell is afraid to sin.  Said in a more earthy sort of way, “Even the temptation to masturbate should scare the hell out of you.”

Loving What God Loves

Galatians 5:16-25 lists the works of the flesh, then turns our eyes to the fruits of the Spirit.  A witty former pastor friend of mine was once asked, “How does a believer ‘walk in the Spirit?'” His answer: “Put your Bible in a paper bag and drink it up.” It is true. We need a constant flow of Scripture into our lives to humble, convict, challenge and encourage us, conforming us to the image of Christ.  I appreciate Paul’s admonition to the Ephesians…“sing to yourselves songs, hymns and spiritual songs, making melody in your hearts to the Lord” (Eph. 5:19).  

We need to love God’s commandments (John 14:15). We need to cherish His Word and see it as vital to our very existence (Job 23:12).  We need to live in it.  We need to commit ourselves to a life of prayer.

God’s Purposes in Suffering:  Finding Christ Sufficient

God ordained an imperfect world so that His children would find Christ – not the things of this world – as fully sufficient.  Sexual drive may be the most powerful physical force weighing on you.  You can make “libido” the essence of meaning in the pattern of Sigmund Freud, or you can see that God granted sexual drive to frustrate you (Psalm 33:10, Romans 9:22-23, Philippians 1:29) to the point that you come to the end of yourself and find that only Christ can satisfy the achings of your soul (2 Corinthians 3:4-5).  

It comes down to this:  every day you must choose who you will serve.  If you do not choose faith in Christ over self-gratification, it is sin to you, because whatever is not of faith is sin (Romans 14:23).

The Bottom Line

The self-pleasured life has no worth to God.  Said another way, the body God gave us is not about our self-gratification.  Your life is about Christ.  Do what every generation of Christians must learn to do:  learn to live in the Word and feed upon it.  Learn to honor and serve the Lord.  Learn to stand.  Learn to pray.  Unless you learn to kneel, you will not be able to stand against your sexual desire, much more stand against a culture shaped by a crouching, deadly sin that is seeking to make you spiritually impotent and cripple you in God’s effort to use you in the advance of the gospel.

 

 

 

Posted in Pornography, Sex